Q & A
1. What was the inspiration for your book?
As an editor of the one and only woman's magazine for mediterranen women in Holland, I have a lot of contact with my readers. The Wax Club is about them, about their daily lives, their confessions and stories. My readers experience the same things as my protagonists do. I felt that mediterranen women with an islamic background, were always stereotyped as an Escapee or a Victim. But a lot of these women just live their lifes, without any of the 'severe' problems a lot of books deal with like female genital mutilation or forced marriages. This side of the women was never portrayed. There are a lot of, and still coming more women, who are even more ambitious and independent than the Western-European women. The statistics show that too: when these women get the opportunity to study or work on a top position, they will never to choose to let it go. And they lead glamorous lifes. With fancy cars, design clothing and going out a lot. Writing a book gave me a chance to tell these stories. I wanted to capture the feeling of life of mediterranean women in the Netherlands as well as the romance and the hardship of constantly adapting to both cultures. The Western eyes are so much more different than it is in real life. I am not saying that they don't have problems. But they sure shouldn't be only related to problems. They are just ordinary women with ordinary women's issues: men, sex and relationships.
2.How did you start working on this book?
It was after a telephone conversation with a friend of mine living in New York, we talked about Charlotte Roche's new novel 'Wetlands”. One hour and a half we talked about sex-taboos we still face with in the West. And I suddenly thought about it from a mediterranean perspective. All the gatherings with my Turkish girlfriends that we were talking about..SEX. This side of the women nobody has ever done yet. With the combination of my position as an editor of a woman's magazine, I thought: IF somebody should write a book about this topic, it must be me. So that's why I started writing the same night as I hang up the phone. And I didn't stop writing for nine months long. As if I was carrying a baby..
3.What kind of experience has writing your book been for you (fun, exciting, agonizing…)?
It was eye-opening. All the letters I received and constant work helped me in my writing. I did field research and whenever I was visiting potential 'readers' I would talk to them about what they knew about sex, but most of all: how and whether they could talk about sex. And it was different than what I had seen in Istanbul with my 'higheducated' friends there, who were more open to this topic. As if in Turkey they are much more free talking about it.. And it made me realize how much the women talk about this but also how little they are being educated. Women educate each other! That's what I have learnt. There is a charm to these mediterranean women's life that is hard to communicate to people who have not experienced it.
I started to suspect that I was writing a very arrogant book – something very ‘top-down’ rather than ‘bottom-up’. ‘Charlotte Roche tells Germany’s women how to appreciate their sexual organs’. I know that I have my own limits, my own taboos too, when it comes to talking about sex.
4. What surprised you most?
As I was writing, the characters didn't let go of me. There was one period, that I didn't leave my house for three days. I ate the last sour apples in my refrigerator who already had gone brownish, and with the last milk (no eggs) I made pancakes. I felt captivated by my own characters. I started to love them. And sometimes I felt pain. But they made me smile too. Which was exactly what my purpose with this book. No heavy multicultural drama. We have enough books about that. My book had to be fun. Sexy drama.
5.Did you have any interesting experiences where you were researching your book?
The internetsite www.itiraf.com is a very popular site for Turkish women. I don't know whether it's because they cannot talk about their problems with their families or that they have more acces to Internet (or both), but it is a very fascinating phenomenon. All these women read about other people's confessions. You can call it voyeuristic, but it is certainly educational I think. And the psychological impact is also huge. It's kind of fun and therapeutical to read other people's confessions who are similar to yours. And that is a very universal thing for women: they always want to share their 'problems'. That is why I also set up a Website for my readers. Where they (and other visitors) can post their confessions or secrets. It helps other women make realize that they are not 'alone'.
6. Who will be interested in your book?
Anyone who is interested in 'the other story' of the daily lifes of educated mediterranean women.
Anyone interested in what it is like for a mediterranean woman to be living with two cultures and trying to keep both sides happy.
Any woman who has been thinking for years that she could get Mr. Right.
Any woman who has ever fall in love so badly.
Any woman who has ever been through a divorce.
All girls who want to read about other girls friendships.
And perhaps men should read it too. Sometimes I tell exactly how a woman wants to be treated, so that they can not say 'I did not know'.
7. What features distinguish your book from others on the subject?
I thought it is not fair that mediterrannean women are portrayed as weak, dependent, backward and headscarved. Which is not the case. We talk about sexy mediterranean women from Italy, Spain or France. But Turkish women are beautiful, sexy and very strong too. I wanted to give a fresh perspective of these women. I didn't want to put them down as escapees or victims. I don't belong to those categories either. I write for the generation who cannot use the excuse: 'I did not know'. Are you kidding? With all the acces to the whole world?? It's up to everybody to inform herself. If every person would do that, 90% of our problems would be solved.
8. Who are your favourite authors?
I love the French feminist writers, Marie Cardinal and Francoise Sagan. I also read most of the books of the one and only Turkish feminist Duygu Asena. Now I am reading 'A short history of women' by Kate Walbert.
As an editor of the one and only woman's magazine for mediterranen women in Holland, I have a lot of contact with my readers. The Wax Club is about them, about their daily lives, their confessions and stories. My readers experience the same things as my protagonists do. I felt that mediterranen women with an islamic background, were always stereotyped as an Escapee or a Victim. But a lot of these women just live their lifes, without any of the 'severe' problems a lot of books deal with like female genital mutilation or forced marriages. This side of the women was never portrayed. There are a lot of, and still coming more women, who are even more ambitious and independent than the Western-European women. The statistics show that too: when these women get the opportunity to study or work on a top position, they will never to choose to let it go. And they lead glamorous lifes. With fancy cars, design clothing and going out a lot. Writing a book gave me a chance to tell these stories. I wanted to capture the feeling of life of mediterranean women in the Netherlands as well as the romance and the hardship of constantly adapting to both cultures. The Western eyes are so much more different than it is in real life. I am not saying that they don't have problems. But they sure shouldn't be only related to problems. They are just ordinary women with ordinary women's issues: men, sex and relationships.
2.How did you start working on this book?
It was after a telephone conversation with a friend of mine living in New York, we talked about Charlotte Roche's new novel 'Wetlands”. One hour and a half we talked about sex-taboos we still face with in the West. And I suddenly thought about it from a mediterranean perspective. All the gatherings with my Turkish girlfriends that we were talking about..SEX. This side of the women nobody has ever done yet. With the combination of my position as an editor of a woman's magazine, I thought: IF somebody should write a book about this topic, it must be me. So that's why I started writing the same night as I hang up the phone. And I didn't stop writing for nine months long. As if I was carrying a baby..
3.What kind of experience has writing your book been for you (fun, exciting, agonizing…)?
It was eye-opening. All the letters I received and constant work helped me in my writing. I did field research and whenever I was visiting potential 'readers' I would talk to them about what they knew about sex, but most of all: how and whether they could talk about sex. And it was different than what I had seen in Istanbul with my 'higheducated' friends there, who were more open to this topic. As if in Turkey they are much more free talking about it.. And it made me realize how much the women talk about this but also how little they are being educated. Women educate each other! That's what I have learnt. There is a charm to these mediterranean women's life that is hard to communicate to people who have not experienced it.
I started to suspect that I was writing a very arrogant book – something very ‘top-down’ rather than ‘bottom-up’. ‘Charlotte Roche tells Germany’s women how to appreciate their sexual organs’. I know that I have my own limits, my own taboos too, when it comes to talking about sex.
4. What surprised you most?
As I was writing, the characters didn't let go of me. There was one period, that I didn't leave my house for three days. I ate the last sour apples in my refrigerator who already had gone brownish, and with the last milk (no eggs) I made pancakes. I felt captivated by my own characters. I started to love them. And sometimes I felt pain. But they made me smile too. Which was exactly what my purpose with this book. No heavy multicultural drama. We have enough books about that. My book had to be fun. Sexy drama.
5.Did you have any interesting experiences where you were researching your book?
The internetsite www.itiraf.com is a very popular site for Turkish women. I don't know whether it's because they cannot talk about their problems with their families or that they have more acces to Internet (or both), but it is a very fascinating phenomenon. All these women read about other people's confessions. You can call it voyeuristic, but it is certainly educational I think. And the psychological impact is also huge. It's kind of fun and therapeutical to read other people's confessions who are similar to yours. And that is a very universal thing for women: they always want to share their 'problems'. That is why I also set up a Website for my readers. Where they (and other visitors) can post their confessions or secrets. It helps other women make realize that they are not 'alone'.
6. Who will be interested in your book?
Anyone who is interested in 'the other story' of the daily lifes of educated mediterranean women.
Anyone interested in what it is like for a mediterranean woman to be living with two cultures and trying to keep both sides happy.
Any woman who has been thinking for years that she could get Mr. Right.
Any woman who has ever fall in love so badly.
Any woman who has ever been through a divorce.
All girls who want to read about other girls friendships.
And perhaps men should read it too. Sometimes I tell exactly how a woman wants to be treated, so that they can not say 'I did not know'.
7. What features distinguish your book from others on the subject?
I thought it is not fair that mediterrannean women are portrayed as weak, dependent, backward and headscarved. Which is not the case. We talk about sexy mediterranean women from Italy, Spain or France. But Turkish women are beautiful, sexy and very strong too. I wanted to give a fresh perspective of these women. I didn't want to put them down as escapees or victims. I don't belong to those categories either. I write for the generation who cannot use the excuse: 'I did not know'. Are you kidding? With all the acces to the whole world?? It's up to everybody to inform herself. If every person would do that, 90% of our problems would be solved.
8. Who are your favourite authors?
I love the French feminist writers, Marie Cardinal and Francoise Sagan. I also read most of the books of the one and only Turkish feminist Duygu Asena. Now I am reading 'A short history of women' by Kate Walbert.